I don’t like Central Banks.
Personally, I think they should be abolished. Go back to a gold standard and let the free markets decide interest rates.
Just the idea – that a handful of unelected bureaucrats know better than the entire free market – is complete lunacy. And you can hear it in their words. They know we’re all stuffed.
My favourite Central Banker is Fed Chairman Powell.
On a human level, I feel sorry for Powell. He seems like a decent person. But his speeches are becoming comical.
There aren’t many things the Fed do which are complicated or difficult to understand:
- When you print cash, you create more cash. So the cash that already exists is worth less.
- When you lower interest rates you discourage saving and encourage borrowing.
- When you use printed money to buy assets, you raise the price – making those assets artificially expensive.
But Central Banks need you to think it’s all a precise, complex rocket science.
So they layer on thick spoonfuls of academic gobbledegook. They talk about: “Midcycle adjustments,” “Symmetrical inflation,” and – my favourite from Powell’s arsenal – “organic expansion of the balance sheet.”
You could say ‘money printing’ and ‘debt monetisation.’ But ordinary people would get scared. These are policies for a banana republic.
So the Fed called it “quantitative easing.” Now QE makes the markets shudder, they’ve started using a new phrase: “Permanent Open Market Operations.”
Which brings me to the point of all this:
If you want to be trusted – and you are of course trustworthy – use simple language. Short, simple words that get your point across. This sounds easy, but it’s not.
I once saw a company which sold business cards with fast delivery. Their headline?
“Streamline your business card procurement.”
Needless to say, if you fall into this sort of marketing b.s. speak, you need to take a step back. Understand what it really is you’re trying to say – then say it as quickly and clearly as possible.
And if it’s bad news, tell them straight. At least you’ll win their trust.
This gets you thinking about your business as a customer would. It’s the quickest, easiest way to start talking on their level.