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How I’m preparing for my ‘Dirty Grandpa’ collapse

Showbiz has a saying: You should get off the stage before people tell you to get off the stage.

Today’s best example has to be Robert De Niro.

Did you see him on-stage at the Tony Awards?

It’s thoroughly depressing.

But life does this to a man – and maybe some women too. One minute you’re on set with Martin Scorsese, reading lines like: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?”…

…The next minute you’re in films with titles like ‘Dirty Grandpa,’ and shouting “Fuck Trump,” for some cheap liberal applause.

I always worry about becoming a Dirty Grandpa. I guess it’s inevitable. After all, if it can happen to Robert De Niro, can’t it happen to anyone?

Here’s a guy, probably one of the 10-20 best screen actors of all time. Nobody can take that away. But he should have respected that legacy and quit decades ago.

It’s over.

He’s done.

Quick Pub Question: Has Robert De Niro appeared in a genuinely exceptional movie since Heat? I couldn’t think of one. But send me an email if you can.

Gene Hackman. Now there’s a man who knew when to quit. I watched Get Shorty with Wifey during the holidays.

“What happened to Gene Hackman? Is he dead?”

Wifey checked her phone: “It says he just retired.”

“Goddam it, I love that guy.”

I still think of Gene Hackman as the ultimate super villain. Remember The Firm? Great movie. Gene will never be a Dirty Grandpa.

Some guys are luckier than others

Donald Trump, ironically for De Niro, is still deadly effective.

Michael Caine still seems okay. When did Harry Brown come out? That was a good movie.

Warren Buffett still gets paid. (Though if you want my opinion, I think he secretly likes it when people accuse him of losing his edge. During the tech bubble – if I remember my reading correctly – Buffett was accused of being out of touch for failing to invest. He was able to buy back some of his own stock at a discount. Then the bubble popped and Buffett’s share value shot back up. Last I checked he’s also steering clear of Bitcoin.)

Then you have others, poor sods, like Manchester United’s sacked manager Jose Mourinho. Jose, it seems, has lost his edge far younger than he deserved.

This is my number 1 fear.

I love my work. I don’t plan on retiring. But one day I will HAVE to quit. I’ll have lost my edge. My time will be up.

Here are 3 ways I’m preparing for the Dirty Grandpa collapse:

Maybe they’ll help you too.

Invest 10% of your income: I’ve done this religiously for almost 10 years, and it’s amazing how fast the money piles up. As a Dirty Grandpa, I shall, at least, have food and beer in the fridge.

However, this is not always easy.

Your biggest enemy in saving for retirement – most likely – is the Government. Case in point: I pay around $5000-$6000/year into a mandatory ‘Canada Pension Plan,’ so my Baby Boomer in-laws can afford their annual cruise.

By the time I’m a Dirty Grandpa, I reckon I’ll have paid roughly a quarter-of-a-million dollars.

It’s a con job. Plain and simple.

If I see one-fifth of that money return I’ll eat my hat.

So do what the rich people preach: Pay yourself first. Put aside your 10% immediately.

Live modestly: I read an article the other day, which said you can buy a mansion in Nova Scotia for the price of a condo in Toronto. Which means, of course, property taxes are lower too.

As a Dirty Grandpa, Nova Scotia is a much better option.

I’ve heard people are fleeing California in droves for low tax states like Florida. Is that true?

It wouldn’t surprise me. Don’t Californians lose some ridiculous figure to taxes?

Stay married (hopefully): I’m a big fan of marriage, for a number of reasons. It’s reassuring to live with somebody who knows me inside-out. I made a pact with my wife:

“Tell me when I’m becoming a Dirty Grandpa.”

One day she’ll sit me down and break the bad news. That’s when I know it’s time to assess my finances and throw in the towel.

But that time hasn’t come yet – and hopefully won’t for a while. Which could be good news for you. Need more sales? Here’s where to start.

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